I have said this several times on my other blog, but I hate dreams. I really would relish a night's sleep without any recollection of what ran through my subconscious while my body rested. I would appreciate even nice dreams. That doesn't seem to be my lot. Before you start harping on me to pray and to do this or to do that or whatever... allow me to assure you that there is prayer before sleep and I have tried most everything most every night. Not much works. Well, prayer does work, but dreams still come more often than not. The nightmares that I used to be plagued by are not nearly as frequent as they were before I was a believer but when they come... it is intense. It leaves a raw emotion that just makes me feel like I was stuck inside a blender and chewed up then spat out to deal with the mush that has become of my brain and heart. It usually takes a day or two to sort out in my head and a day or three before sleep is regular-ish again.

That all being said... last night was rough.

The weather today, though, was beautiful. So was the service at church. We had a TON of visitors - amazing. One really sweet lady - K. Pray for her. And her demon-dog. Seriously...

LU will be here in less than 2 weeks now. I cannot wait. It feels very weird to be on the other side of the trip, though. I can't even begin to tell you how weird. Pray for the trip and for the people coming. God knows we need it.

I like the little things. Like knowing exactly what kind of sauce they will all get on their Subway breakfast. And knowing who wakes up at 7am every morning even though the alarm isn't set until 2 hours later. And knowing who likes fur cat mittens. I just miss knowing so many of those things about people... but time is helping that process. Little things mean a lot. It defines how you know a person. If all I know about you is your name, eye color, and how you take your coffee, I don't have much to go on but if I can use those things to get to know more about you... like why you INSIST on having a straw to drink hot drinks knowing that the roof of your mouth will inevitably get burned but you do it anyway... well, then we can move to deeper things. The things that last... the things that keep you awake at night and the things that you cry silent tears over, and the things that give you the greatest joy. The things that make you - you.

I long for that intimacy with Him. I long to have friends again with that intimacy. The knowing and being known. The good part, is that I am already halfway there with Him - He knows me. Every detail. Intense...

Went "up north" today to Provo to spend a day away. It was great - car issues (crazy!), Chinese food (amazing!), new earrings (needed!), DI (exciting!), and Costco... and meeting new people (Gabe's brother and sister-in-law who bailed us out when the car died...)... So yeah, it was a great day!

And tonight promises to be pretty great as long as Liz and I can stay awake - one of the girl's who comes to the cafe will be joining us for movies, foot soaks, and just all around hang-out time. Sleepover for the girls. :)

Morning promises breakfast at Subway - as has become our tradition. A few of us go every Saturday. No real reason other than it's fun. It was Tyrone's idea and it just stuck.

Pray for the family of two sisters who were killed last week in a car wreck from Snow College last week. I believe that one had been in the cafe before but I can't be sure and the other I don't think any of us knew. The school is hurting though, and as many of you LU people can understand - it is crazy hard to lose a fellow student at your school. Pray for healing and for opportunities to point to Christ through this.

Gabe and I had an AWESOME opportunity to witness to a friend last night. Pray for rescue for C. God is sooooooo moving in her heart and it is INSANELY EXITING to see. Like, crazy. :)

I have more thoughts, but maybe they would be better in a separate post and I don't feel like writing them now, so... yeah. Later.

Take me to Your secret place of thunder.
Let me hear the voice of the One...
The One my soul longs to hear.

Take me to Your secret place of thunder.
Let me see Your writing on the wall...
The message causing all to fear.

Take me to Your secret place of thunder.
Let me know Your words of truth...
The dividing of my soul and heart.

Take me to Your secret place of thunder.
Let me feel Your holy touch...
The healing of the broken part.

Shut the door,
open my ears,
eyes, heart, and mind.
Make me one with You.
Whole. New.
Take me to Your secret place of thunder.

So I wish I had something witty and inspiring and deep and just "WOW" for you like Tyrone did for his Valentine's Day post, but I don't. Not that I am not ALL of those qualities ALL the time... ;) ... but meh... I just don't. Besides, it is now 3 days after Valentine's Day anyway.

I do have some food for thought for ya... Jeff, a ministry leader from One Way ministries who came to speak with us one day last week (was it last week or the week before? I can't remember now...) told us this: "If you are not fellowshiping in light, you ARE fellowshiping in darkness. We all must be fellowshiping in something." He is sooooo right. I know it is a pretty elementary thought but you would be surprised how often we think "well, I don't really NEED to do this or read that or blah blah blah..." And then when we are miserable, well, who doesn't love company....? Seriously, think about it. Where are you fellowshiping? It does matter.

I am so excited that exactly ONE month from now my best friend, some of the coolest guys in the world, and a whole bunch of LU people will be HERE! With me! Sitting beside me! The world will be good again, because once again we will have combined my favorite things - LU and here. For those of you from outside our LU bubble, you may not know that this is THE first Utah trip that I have NOT been on (I was one of the ORIGINAL team...) so it is a little weird for me to be on the recieving end of the team but I am so freaking excited to see them that I almost don't care. They should have kept me on staff for admissions. I still talk that place up like crazy. How can I not? I met God there...

I want a koi fish. And new chopsticks... but not to eat the fish with...

Kate, can you bring my cat with you, please?

I am making closer friendships and finally am at a point where I can talk and mostly be myself. God is taking care of us.

I miss my sister, though. So much.

Two new poems on http://warriordawn.blogspot.com - go check 'em out. Feedback welcome.

Ok, your job is to pray for a trained Christian psychologist to have the desire to move here and live here and work with the people. Someone with training in cutting, depression, mental illness, suicidal tendencies, abuse, polygamy, and the LDS church and soooo many other things. Someone who has a heart and passion and desire for Christ and is trained to reach the broken ones. We are all broken, but some need more than the simple hugs that I can give. That's where your prayers come in.

Let me show you and share with you what God and I talked about this morning. Normally, ok, never, do I share this stuff... but I think you may appreciate. We have been studying Hebrews in our morning Bible study and I have been studying about our inheiritance in Him. Connor sent me an INCREDIBLE sermon yesterday that I plan to share with a few of my girls. The title of it was He will never leave you.
Anyway, here's this mornings conversation.

-As I drink my drink, You are like a child. So excited. "Come, come, there is so much more that I have to show you, darling. Come, I can't wait for you to see. To teach you, as you sit here, and learn from me."
-Make my eyes reflect my heart and make my heart as one who is deeply in lve and make my love be You. When they see me, let them see me consumed by You.
-You are my Bridegroom, sweet and perfect. You won't leave me. I am beautiful in Your eyes, which are filled with desire, and I have an inheiritance in You.

Psalm 5:11-12 - "But let all who take refuge in You be glad. Let them ever sing for joy; and may You shelter them. That those who love Your name may exult in You. For it is You who blesses the righteous man, O Lord, You surround him with favor as with a shield."

Substituted this morning. It was sweet... It is probably the only time, though, that I get frustrated with people for thinking I am younger than I am. I get tired of having to reassure teachers that not only am I more than qualified to substitute, but that in some of the cases, I have as much or MORE qualifications than they do, not to mention experience. I promise, I only look like a baby. I really have a lot to learn yet in the classroom, but I am not a spring chicken either... at least, not this past spring. Maybe a few before.

Ok, asking for help on a new blog template. This one is kinda boring me. I would love something new and a little more exciting. I like the dark colors and simplistic designs for ease of reading but something a bit nicer than this would be helpful. So, lemme know if you have ideas. I am capable of a little html but very limited. My last update on my other blog, I had to have Kate help me. Depending on who you are, I may let you do it yourself OR I may just get the info from you and do it myself. Either way, opinions welcome!

Also, I think it is about time to meet the readership... if there is much of any (and I know by the statcounter that I have at least a few regulars). So if you read more often than just a stumble across - say something! Comment and let us know you are there and who you are. Stumble across-ers can comment to, but then be sure to stumble back by again.

I decided there is a whole lot of touching in girl's basketball. I went to Tor's game this weekend and whew... I guess I never really realized it before but yeah, girls are way more pushy than the guys.

Oh, and for the Super Bowl fans, you will be proud of me for only sleeping through about 5 minutes of the game; (I couldn't sleep any more than that because the girls all screamed so loudly). One of the girls from our church - her brother in law was playing so we had a ton of people cheering for the Steelers. A few Arizona fans but their screams were muted by the others... And my spinach dip was great! :) Not all gone but that's alright. Ohh, and there are cookies and brownies left if you want some... Momma G's favorite flavors- chocolate and mint.

Random fact: I hate shoes and socks and slippers. I wear them out of desperation for warmth. I usually prefer to have cold feet than to have covered feet. This makes me anxious for a job where closed toe is no longer required.

COMMENT.