I have said this several times on my other blog, but I hate dreams. I really would relish a night's sleep without any recollection of what ran through my subconscious while my body rested. I would appreciate even nice dreams. That doesn't seem to be my lot. Before you start harping on me to pray and to do this or to do that or whatever... allow me to assure you that there is prayer before sleep and I have tried most everything most every night. Not much works. Well, prayer does work, but dreams still come more often than not. The nightmares that I used to be plagued by are not nearly as frequent as they were before I was a believer but when they come... it is intense. It leaves a raw emotion that just makes me feel like I was stuck inside a blender and chewed up then spat out to deal with the mush that has become of my brain and heart. It usually takes a day or two to sort out in my head and a day or three before sleep is regular-ish again.

That all being said... last night was rough.

The weather today, though, was beautiful. So was the service at church. We had a TON of visitors - amazing. One really sweet lady - K. Pray for her. And her demon-dog. Seriously...

LU will be here in less than 2 weeks now. I cannot wait. It feels very weird to be on the other side of the trip, though. I can't even begin to tell you how weird. Pray for the trip and for the people coming. God knows we need it.

I like the little things. Like knowing exactly what kind of sauce they will all get on their Subway breakfast. And knowing who wakes up at 7am every morning even though the alarm isn't set until 2 hours later. And knowing who likes fur cat mittens. I just miss knowing so many of those things about people... but time is helping that process. Little things mean a lot. It defines how you know a person. If all I know about you is your name, eye color, and how you take your coffee, I don't have much to go on but if I can use those things to get to know more about you... like why you INSIST on having a straw to drink hot drinks knowing that the roof of your mouth will inevitably get burned but you do it anyway... well, then we can move to deeper things. The things that last... the things that keep you awake at night and the things that you cry silent tears over, and the things that give you the greatest joy. The things that make you - you.

I long for that intimacy with Him. I long to have friends again with that intimacy. The knowing and being known. The good part, is that I am already halfway there with Him - He knows me. Every detail. Intense...