The air is so dry here. My skin is cracking and bleeding. I feel that way some of the time inside, too. Satan is having a field day telling me a bunch of things. The good part is that I learned this summer through trial and numerous error to recognize the difference between his voice and my Father's.

There are questions in my mind as to whether college ministry is the right place for me to be. I honestly don't think it will be a long term thing - even for much longer than a year or two. I am more and more aware that my gifts have little to do with the college age group and so much to do with the children.

My arms ache to hold a little child and tell them that Jesus loves them. That is where my passion is. And the LDS children are told so many things but the least of which is that Jesus loves them. And even if they do hear it, there are strings attached. "Jesus loves you IF..." My Jesus has no if's or conditions on His love.

Pray for us here. We have tension arising. I can feel it stirring. The current swirls and swoops but never fully comes to light. It almost did earlier today but not really. Just that underlying tension that causes you to crack and bleed and to have little cuts but never makes a big enough deal for you to actually take the time to put the salve on and rest or regroup.

Last night I slept with Cetaphil lotion and antibiotic Neosporin on my hands with socks over them to prevent it from rubbing off. This helped my hands to not be so sore today from the dry and sensitive skin. I feel like as a whole group and as individuals we need to stop and put the same kind of salve on ourselves before we can help anyone else with their sensitive areas of life.

Samhain is almost here. The air feels heavy and the hearts of those who are sensitive to the changes notice the difference. It is weird in a way. I notice a lot of things with spiritual eyes that it seems like the others are missing because they are looking with human eyes but I feel so far behind in some ways combating those things that I see and feel. At the same time, I am not an "ex" in the same way that the ones here are, so I don't fully understand them and vice versa. And the lifelong Christians (or not lifelong but those who were not involved in a cult prior to their Christian life) tend to see things just a bit differently from the rest of us. As an ex-cultist who is now a New Creation, life is different sometimes. And that can be hard to reconcile with the others around you. I am understanding better the pain of the Mormons who have left and become Christians to some extent. Their joy is finally complete but the brainwashing that they have endured takes time to be overcome and retrained into Biblical thinking. That being the case, it makes it hard to be willing conform to Christianity for them. At least, the Christianity that they see.

Pray that they will see Christ and not christianity. We unfortunately can be poor specimen at times of what our Christianity is about. But He is still there and still bigger and stronger and the healer of all wounds. Even the ones that just crack and bleed.

So great news. Last night one person that I have been bugging for quite awhile now to come check out the cafe came in and really enjoyed himself. He was like "wow, I didn't know this place is so cool!" :) That made me happy. I suspect he will be back. He was pretty excited about it. (The fact that he got free food probably helped. ;) ) Anyway, ALSO one of our girls who has been frequenting the place came in and was able to hear the Gospel spelled out in TRUTH at least 4 times in a row. As well as 3 other girls who come in quite often. This occurred during an open question night that we had with Pastor Rodney - the pastor of Ephraim Bible Church. He came in and just fielded questions from students about various things. Most all of the questions were written down or asked by Solid Rock kids but most were pointed enough without being offensive that we were able to point out some clear differences between the faiths and truth. God is SOOOOOOOOoooo cool. :) Anyway, I figured you might like some good news.
Other good news: I got to have a great conversation with my mom this past week on the phone. Sad for parts but good. :) And I talked to Mrs. Walters for a long time - such an encouragement she is. Wow. I wish I lived closer so she could be a mentor... she is in a way. AND I got to talk to my best friend/sister quite a few times. I love her so much. I love my "family." - quotes since the definetion has broadened and blurred over time... in a good way.

A few tips to make the life of your cashier a little better...
So... I have learned as a cashier that my job is to make your visit to my store the best possible and to be as compassionate, expedient, and friendly as possible. I have made it a point to be different from the others by making it a point to pray over my customers and to show Jesus to each of them. But... just to make life easier, it is nice when customers remember that cashiers are people, too; who shouldn't be looked down on but rather respected. So... here is my "vent/tips" list of things that would help make life easier... This is meant to be tips, not serious, and definitely not required... if your cashier is rude, say something to management and to the cashier. You deserve the best.
1. If you are the only customer in line, pull your cart up alongside the belt and start unloading your items for the cashier to check out.
2. Smile and acknowledge your cashier when they greet you. We love to talk with you but that doesn't work if you don't talk to us.
3. Get off of your cell phone. 30 seconds shouldn't matter. Seriously. And if it does then you don't belong in line yet or you should be headed out the door to take care of that emergency, not waiting around at a register. If you can't hang up, tell the caller to hang on for a few minutes. Most people don't mind.
4. Help the cashier by taking the bags as they fill them up. It is the responsibilty of the cashier to scan and bag your items and take care of your money.
5. Tell the cashier before they process your check if you want cash back. You can get up to 20 dollars cash when using a check to pay for your items but it really helps to know ahead of time.
6. Have your id ready if you are purchasing more than 200$ worth of items or something that would potentially require one. ie: spraypaint, alcohol, tobacco, whiteout, sharpie markers, (inhalants), cough medicine, etc. Don't argue about the id thing. It is the cashier's job and if they don't ask, they don't get to work, either.
7. Don't pass out Jack Chick tracts. We don't want them and don't need them. Offer to pray or a smile or if you know us, a hug. That means sooooo much more. :)
8. Do NOT flirt with your cashier unless you are super hot, single, and DO NOT have a wife waiting for you at home. Otherwise, if you are creepy, please, we don't want to date, we just want to work... ;)