LeTourneau is driving as I type this. They have had a lot of nasty weather but Cheryl texted and said it finally cleared. Pray for safety. They should be here about this time tomorrow night.
Tomorrow morning for me will be shopping for food - cause these guys are gonna be hungry eventually. I am in charge of breakfast stuff. Shopping will actually be after Subway breakfast with the guys and a car wash for Amy's Honda... poor baby has cat paw prints all over it - reminiscent of a visit with Deeds and her mom's monster cats. And any final cleaning/dishes at my apartment and the cafe, etc, but I think we should be just about set on that front. Then I think a movie is in order... and just trying to not be too antsy and annoying while I wait for my best friend and crew to arrive.
God has crazy awesome things in store for this week. I know that. And I am holding to the promise that He is far bigger than anything that Satan will try to throw at us. And that His will WILL be done.

For now... I think I will go chew on my fingernails or something while I wait. New post on poetry blog. I found a new song. I can identify... Not right now specifically, but yeah, I can understand. And I am sure you have been there. Check it out.

God gave me a new poem but I forgot my journal upstairs so... you get to wait. Trying to get ready for LU to come in. Trying to think. Trying to finish work for the week. Trying to clean. Trying to sort out my brain and heart.

Feels incredibly weird to NOT be on the mission team this year. Like... so so backwards. Tomorrow night they will have the foot-washing ceremony and communion. I haven't missed that for five years now. I missed the carwashes, the meetings, the training, the dinners at the Carl's, and this Friday - I will miss the drive. It is really strange being on the recieving end. Pray that I can be a gracious reciever... and that I can work with the team well.

I almost feel jealous in a way, if that makes sense. Which is incredibly stupid because I am actually living a dream - being involved in this ministry full time has been and was my dream for at least 4 years. But... like all dreams, eventually you wake up and life is life and it IS grand but it is also the day to day. And that means stepping in Zeek crap outside, slipping on ice, and watching people make incredible decisions for Christ. Among other things. But with the exception of that last one.. my point is that no matter where we are, life ends up just being life. And I used to live for the Utah trip because it was a break from the norm, an insane ministry that I loved, and a chance to spend a week with people that I loved. - Not only the ones here but also my best friend and the other team members. Just feels weird to not be a part of it all in the same way and so yeah... But man... I AM SO EXCITED! I cannot wait to see them all.

I have amazing news. Two pieces.. no wait, make it three.

1. A person that we recently met and was JUST presented with the True Gospel for the first time apparently prayed to accept Christ. PLEASE lift her up in prayer. K - you can call her that.

2. Another one hearing the request from the first to get to know this God that we speak of, voiced her desire to know the same. And apparently can't sleep at night because her hunger for His Word is so intense that she stays up all night reading.

3. And the third piece of news is that I am going to be on TV on April 30th. More details later but for now, I better keep quiet and not ruin it. Just suffice to say that I won't be portraying me and I will be doing an interview. And I am super excited but in need of prayer. :)

I have said this several times on my other blog, but I hate dreams. I really would relish a night's sleep without any recollection of what ran through my subconscious while my body rested. I would appreciate even nice dreams. That doesn't seem to be my lot. Before you start harping on me to pray and to do this or to do that or whatever... allow me to assure you that there is prayer before sleep and I have tried most everything most every night. Not much works. Well, prayer does work, but dreams still come more often than not. The nightmares that I used to be plagued by are not nearly as frequent as they were before I was a believer but when they come... it is intense. It leaves a raw emotion that just makes me feel like I was stuck inside a blender and chewed up then spat out to deal with the mush that has become of my brain and heart. It usually takes a day or two to sort out in my head and a day or three before sleep is regular-ish again.

That all being said... last night was rough.

The weather today, though, was beautiful. So was the service at church. We had a TON of visitors - amazing. One really sweet lady - K. Pray for her. And her demon-dog. Seriously...

LU will be here in less than 2 weeks now. I cannot wait. It feels very weird to be on the other side of the trip, though. I can't even begin to tell you how weird. Pray for the trip and for the people coming. God knows we need it.

I like the little things. Like knowing exactly what kind of sauce they will all get on their Subway breakfast. And knowing who wakes up at 7am every morning even though the alarm isn't set until 2 hours later. And knowing who likes fur cat mittens. I just miss knowing so many of those things about people... but time is helping that process. Little things mean a lot. It defines how you know a person. If all I know about you is your name, eye color, and how you take your coffee, I don't have much to go on but if I can use those things to get to know more about you... like why you INSIST on having a straw to drink hot drinks knowing that the roof of your mouth will inevitably get burned but you do it anyway... well, then we can move to deeper things. The things that last... the things that keep you awake at night and the things that you cry silent tears over, and the things that give you the greatest joy. The things that make you - you.

I long for that intimacy with Him. I long to have friends again with that intimacy. The knowing and being known. The good part, is that I am already halfway there with Him - He knows me. Every detail. Intense...

Went "up north" today to Provo to spend a day away. It was great - car issues (crazy!), Chinese food (amazing!), new earrings (needed!), DI (exciting!), and Costco... and meeting new people (Gabe's brother and sister-in-law who bailed us out when the car died...)... So yeah, it was a great day!

And tonight promises to be pretty great as long as Liz and I can stay awake - one of the girl's who comes to the cafe will be joining us for movies, foot soaks, and just all around hang-out time. Sleepover for the girls. :)

Morning promises breakfast at Subway - as has become our tradition. A few of us go every Saturday. No real reason other than it's fun. It was Tyrone's idea and it just stuck.

Pray for the family of two sisters who were killed last week in a car wreck from Snow College last week. I believe that one had been in the cafe before but I can't be sure and the other I don't think any of us knew. The school is hurting though, and as many of you LU people can understand - it is crazy hard to lose a fellow student at your school. Pray for healing and for opportunities to point to Christ through this.

Gabe and I had an AWESOME opportunity to witness to a friend last night. Pray for rescue for C. God is sooooooo moving in her heart and it is INSANELY EXITING to see. Like, crazy. :)

I have more thoughts, but maybe they would be better in a separate post and I don't feel like writing them now, so... yeah. Later.

Take me to Your secret place of thunder.
Let me hear the voice of the One...
The One my soul longs to hear.

Take me to Your secret place of thunder.
Let me see Your writing on the wall...
The message causing all to fear.

Take me to Your secret place of thunder.
Let me know Your words of truth...
The dividing of my soul and heart.

Take me to Your secret place of thunder.
Let me feel Your holy touch...
The healing of the broken part.

Shut the door,
open my ears,
eyes, heart, and mind.
Make me one with You.
Whole. New.
Take me to Your secret place of thunder.

So I wish I had something witty and inspiring and deep and just "WOW" for you like Tyrone did for his Valentine's Day post, but I don't. Not that I am not ALL of those qualities ALL the time... ;) ... but meh... I just don't. Besides, it is now 3 days after Valentine's Day anyway.

I do have some food for thought for ya... Jeff, a ministry leader from One Way ministries who came to speak with us one day last week (was it last week or the week before? I can't remember now...) told us this: "If you are not fellowshiping in light, you ARE fellowshiping in darkness. We all must be fellowshiping in something." He is sooooo right. I know it is a pretty elementary thought but you would be surprised how often we think "well, I don't really NEED to do this or read that or blah blah blah..." And then when we are miserable, well, who doesn't love company....? Seriously, think about it. Where are you fellowshiping? It does matter.

I am so excited that exactly ONE month from now my best friend, some of the coolest guys in the world, and a whole bunch of LU people will be HERE! With me! Sitting beside me! The world will be good again, because once again we will have combined my favorite things - LU and here. For those of you from outside our LU bubble, you may not know that this is THE first Utah trip that I have NOT been on (I was one of the ORIGINAL team...) so it is a little weird for me to be on the recieving end of the team but I am so freaking excited to see them that I almost don't care. They should have kept me on staff for admissions. I still talk that place up like crazy. How can I not? I met God there...

I want a koi fish. And new chopsticks... but not to eat the fish with...

Kate, can you bring my cat with you, please?

I am making closer friendships and finally am at a point where I can talk and mostly be myself. God is taking care of us.

I miss my sister, though. So much.