Some pictures of our arms on To Write Love On Her Arms Day... It was awhile ago but it took me a bit to figure out how to get them off my phone. I am not sure why I didn't take them with my camera but se la vi. Anyway... Enjoy. You can see a few more on here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2015223&id=159101331&l=8e1eab6a10 - for some reason, blogger won't let me post all of them.

I have been reminded over and over that we all have a story. And the best way to connect with a person is to ask them their story and to get involved IN their story. The best way to make an impact and witness to a person of Christ's love is to make your story something that they can see and be a part of, something that they can be included in. To feel valued, to feel desired, to feel needed - to make it known that their story matters to you and to your own story.

I met this kid named "A" who ironically enough is friends with Jamie and the other guys from To Write Love on Her Arms. He was there the week that Renee went through her week-long detox with the group. He was there when the t-shirts were made and when the whole thing exploded into something huge. He is friends with the band members who were responsible for playing each night - the nights that Renee was giving up her blades and drugs. (for more of the story of Renee and TWLOHA see: www.twloha.com)

"A" made me cd's of their music. I love it. :) Not a surprise, really. We met him at a thrift store. He is nothing like the kids here - but I can't tell what's going through his mind about Christ. But... as I hear more of his story, I will learn. And then, maybe we can build enough trust that I can tell him mine.

Going to the girl's home this afternoon. I have been a few times before. I think this will become a regular thing for me. I spoke with Kim about it and I really really break for these girls. Their stories... so much brokenness. What if I can be one of the ones to tell them that the story does not have to end that way? That their broken and wounded and hidden places can be brought to light and healed by the only Perfect Healer.

Been reading about Helen Mar Kimball Smith Whitney. Talk about a mouthful on the names. I thought my real name was long. Sheesh. But her story is becoming important to me. Mainly, because she is my character and I would love nothing more than to prevent more women from sharing a story like hers. I physically feel ill when I study about her life. It sucked that much. But maybe... by telling her story and telling mine, God can rescue some of these women. Freedom.

"Open up your broken heart. There's a light inside." - Tenth Avenue North.

New song up on my other blog - fits nicely with this topic: My Words

Hello friends out there whom I assume are still reading... Update on my little sister, Lindsay. Apparently the poor kid needs yet another surgery. Scheduled for April 7th in New York at the same place as the last one. Second brain decompression within a year. This thing just keeps trying to beat her. Anyway, they are headed out there from Maine on the 3rd and will stay probably a week to two weeks at the very least to be sure that she is all taken care of. The medication that they were trying to use in order to relieve pressure caused metabolic acidosis and so they had to take her off of it immediately. Just keep praying.
I have my plane tickets to head out there for her high school graduation - June 5th. Fly out end of May and stay until the 8th or 9th, I believe.

Anyway, pray for this little one.


And I have a praise. C. She is making sooooo much progress and has been reading and studying like crazy. God is so awesome and it has been AMAZING to see Him move in her. :)

Well, LU came and went. And due to the nature of internet, it would be better to get details from the team if you want to know what we did, but suffice to say God worked this week and it was crazy and we are all exhausted and that was a fantastic team. It was a jam-packed week with after-effects that may not be fully known for awhile but will be crazy awesome.

I still need to do my Utah taxes. Opps.

It would be nice if my time tables matched a little closer with God's. I get frustrated because I always seem to want to jump ahead and He isn't finished with the here and now yet... I bet I could save myself a lot of pain that way.

LeTourneau is driving as I type this. They have had a lot of nasty weather but Cheryl texted and said it finally cleared. Pray for safety. They should be here about this time tomorrow night.
Tomorrow morning for me will be shopping for food - cause these guys are gonna be hungry eventually. I am in charge of breakfast stuff. Shopping will actually be after Subway breakfast with the guys and a car wash for Amy's Honda... poor baby has cat paw prints all over it - reminiscent of a visit with Deeds and her mom's monster cats. And any final cleaning/dishes at my apartment and the cafe, etc, but I think we should be just about set on that front. Then I think a movie is in order... and just trying to not be too antsy and annoying while I wait for my best friend and crew to arrive.
God has crazy awesome things in store for this week. I know that. And I am holding to the promise that He is far bigger than anything that Satan will try to throw at us. And that His will WILL be done.

For now... I think I will go chew on my fingernails or something while I wait. New post on poetry blog. I found a new song. I can identify... Not right now specifically, but yeah, I can understand. And I am sure you have been there. Check it out.

God gave me a new poem but I forgot my journal upstairs so... you get to wait. Trying to get ready for LU to come in. Trying to think. Trying to finish work for the week. Trying to clean. Trying to sort out my brain and heart.

Feels incredibly weird to NOT be on the mission team this year. Like... so so backwards. Tomorrow night they will have the foot-washing ceremony and communion. I haven't missed that for five years now. I missed the carwashes, the meetings, the training, the dinners at the Carl's, and this Friday - I will miss the drive. It is really strange being on the recieving end. Pray that I can be a gracious reciever... and that I can work with the team well.

I almost feel jealous in a way, if that makes sense. Which is incredibly stupid because I am actually living a dream - being involved in this ministry full time has been and was my dream for at least 4 years. But... like all dreams, eventually you wake up and life is life and it IS grand but it is also the day to day. And that means stepping in Zeek crap outside, slipping on ice, and watching people make incredible decisions for Christ. Among other things. But with the exception of that last one.. my point is that no matter where we are, life ends up just being life. And I used to live for the Utah trip because it was a break from the norm, an insane ministry that I loved, and a chance to spend a week with people that I loved. - Not only the ones here but also my best friend and the other team members. Just feels weird to not be a part of it all in the same way and so yeah... But man... I AM SO EXCITED! I cannot wait to see them all.

I have amazing news. Two pieces.. no wait, make it three.

1. A person that we recently met and was JUST presented with the True Gospel for the first time apparently prayed to accept Christ. PLEASE lift her up in prayer. K - you can call her that.

2. Another one hearing the request from the first to get to know this God that we speak of, voiced her desire to know the same. And apparently can't sleep at night because her hunger for His Word is so intense that she stays up all night reading.

3. And the third piece of news is that I am going to be on TV on April 30th. More details later but for now, I better keep quiet and not ruin it. Just suffice to say that I won't be portraying me and I will be doing an interview. And I am super excited but in need of prayer. :)

I have said this several times on my other blog, but I hate dreams. I really would relish a night's sleep without any recollection of what ran through my subconscious while my body rested. I would appreciate even nice dreams. That doesn't seem to be my lot. Before you start harping on me to pray and to do this or to do that or whatever... allow me to assure you that there is prayer before sleep and I have tried most everything most every night. Not much works. Well, prayer does work, but dreams still come more often than not. The nightmares that I used to be plagued by are not nearly as frequent as they were before I was a believer but when they come... it is intense. It leaves a raw emotion that just makes me feel like I was stuck inside a blender and chewed up then spat out to deal with the mush that has become of my brain and heart. It usually takes a day or two to sort out in my head and a day or three before sleep is regular-ish again.

That all being said... last night was rough.

The weather today, though, was beautiful. So was the service at church. We had a TON of visitors - amazing. One really sweet lady - K. Pray for her. And her demon-dog. Seriously...

LU will be here in less than 2 weeks now. I cannot wait. It feels very weird to be on the other side of the trip, though. I can't even begin to tell you how weird. Pray for the trip and for the people coming. God knows we need it.

I like the little things. Like knowing exactly what kind of sauce they will all get on their Subway breakfast. And knowing who wakes up at 7am every morning even though the alarm isn't set until 2 hours later. And knowing who likes fur cat mittens. I just miss knowing so many of those things about people... but time is helping that process. Little things mean a lot. It defines how you know a person. If all I know about you is your name, eye color, and how you take your coffee, I don't have much to go on but if I can use those things to get to know more about you... like why you INSIST on having a straw to drink hot drinks knowing that the roof of your mouth will inevitably get burned but you do it anyway... well, then we can move to deeper things. The things that last... the things that keep you awake at night and the things that you cry silent tears over, and the things that give you the greatest joy. The things that make you - you.

I long for that intimacy with Him. I long to have friends again with that intimacy. The knowing and being known. The good part, is that I am already halfway there with Him - He knows me. Every detail. Intense...