Good morning! His mercies are new and His sun is shining in the cold state of UT. It is soooo cold! Kate told me that I became a Texan and I am afraid that she is correct, because my blood must have thinned out or something... I AM FREEZING all the time. BUT... because God is good and put sympathy on the furnace man's heart, he came and fixed both the college house and the girl's furnaces for free the other night. It was a welcome sight to see his van pull in with snow on it and know that I was going to wake up to a warm bedroom for once. :)

So, the parade is a contest for the best float. Haha... we obviously did not win even though the entire town has been talking about that AMAZING badger head and question mark that the "Badgers for Jesus" had. Irony. In TX there is still a large amount of prejudice between the races. In ME it is between the Mainah's and the Somolians. Here, between the Christians and the Mormons. Except that we welcome them with open arms and they kick us out of Institute classes. That's right... one of our girls, one of the sweetest by the way, got kicked out of Institute classes - compare to LU's Bible classes and you will have an idea, except they aren't allowed to ask ANY QUESTIONS. She was kicked out yesterday after being out of class for a week to work on float stuff because she "makes the learning enviroment and the teaching environment uncomfortable for the professor and class by asking questions." How's that for ironic? By the way, her prof was at the parade and freaked when he saw our float. Something about saying that "QUESTIONS ROK." bothered him greatly.

Heh... it's all good. Count it all joy when you face trials or even little things that point out that the world doesn't like you for Christ's sake. Right? We do. If this is the worst that we face, we are very blessed.

I spoke with Pastor Bud yesterday for a long while. That was pretty cool. I love hearing about how all of you are doing. I am incredibly bad at letters but if you ever want to call me or email, PLEASE do so. I will respond as soon as I can. Private conversations are few and far between but I try to make it a point to have them. I miss you guys like crazy. Still and seriously. Kate said the other day, "Your family is here (TX)." She is right. It will take time for me to grow with new family here but you guys are still hardcore close to my heart.

I have to tell you about the Delta church the other day. We went on Sunday and spoke, did music for worship, and just tried to encourage. Man, it was AMAZING. Like, wow. Ok, so we did not plan any of our testimonies or scriptures or coordinate anything. The only two planned portions of the service were the sermon and the music which were not coordinated together at all. But, since the Holy Spirit is amazing, He organized it so that we all had the same general idea on our hearts. When I spoke, as usual, I did not plan anything. I prayed over a couple of ideas of what to say but what came out was totally different. It was one of those moments when He puts the words in and I spew them out before I realize what they are and I am hearing them for the first time as well as everyone else and learn from them, too. I LOVE moments like that. When you have NO earthly idea what to say or do and then suddenly things that you didn't know that you knew come forth and you are saying exactly what He wants you to say. If only I were always that moldable. I'm not but it would be great if I were. The church seemed really excited that we were there. They cried.

My heart broke for the man behind me. I looked him in the eye and I saw things in there that no one should ever have to face. His pain was so deep. I don't know anythign about him or his story. I just know the pain that was in his eyes and surrounding his countance. Pray for him. God knows his story and his name.

One last story and then I should go because this is crazy long. Sunday afternoon, as Liz and I were baking, I looked out the kitchen window. It was a beautiful picture. Fall leaves falling down and snow on the mountains and a lazy Sunday afternoon street with a man all dressed up carrying his scriptures on his way home from church. It should have been one of those "wow" sights. But the understanding that he is an LDS man and is so decieved and lost and broken made it almost disgusting and definitely heart wrenching. Think about it.. what is more attractive than a man in love with Christ and praying and carrying his Bible? Absolutely nothing in my mind but knowing that this man does not love the same Jesus that I do... well, his attractiveness just fell about a 1,000 notches. It was incredibly sad. That's the reality that I live in, though.

Heh... I am still losing the battle of the dry and sensitive Flic skin vs. the Utah dry air. BUT... the reason that I am losing is that today I spent my day putting papermache on a rather large badger bicep and making coffee drinks and soon to be painting projects and other various helping-ness of the making of our float. Snow College is having a parade tomorrow for Homecoming and all of the clubs from the campus will be represented including the Solid Rock Christian Fellowship. Our float will be AMAZING. I will have to show you pictures after the finished product. We have a massive head and arms that we constructed of a badger that will be on it (school mascot) along with a giant question mark that will turn. Our signs will say: "Questions ROK", "Dare to dig for truth" and "No Fear". Our premise/theme is that "True badgers are not afraid to dig for truth and ask questions."

This community accepts whatever is spoonfed into their brains without even stopping to taste what it is they have just digested. And then most are ready to regurgitate it right back to you verbatim without ever determining the meaning or purpose. It is so incredibly frustrating but not surprising. I remember doing the same thing for 11 years with my ritual. You hear it. You memorize it. You say it. You say you believe it. You never think about it. You are dying inside.

Unless... you wise up and ask questions and then... WOW. God shines so bright when you search earnestly for truth. So incredibly bright. And then, I love love love to see that lightbulb moment when someone finally clicks and realizes "Whoa... dude... I want that." It all starts with questions.

So, pray for us tomorrow por favor! We will need it for sure. Sunday we will be headed to the Delta Church in Delta, UT to encourage the church and the people. Imagine the Corinthian church and you have a good picture of what we will be headed into. I got the weekend off from Walmart for all of this so it has been nice. Off today, tomorrow, and Sunday. AND... YAY. Praise God because I finally got another substituting phone call for next week. Actually, got two but I am only available for one. AND I got things worked out for my paychecks so that I can get paid for teaching other people's kids. Stoked about that.

I miss you guys. I love you. And most importantly, I thank you for your prayers, for your love, and for your friendship.... Stay strong, my friends. I can't wait to see you again...

We discussed Joy in our Bible study the other day. It has been on my mind since, for obvious reasons. We were discussing the joy that we knew when we became a Christian. That moment of release and freedom and just "wow, this huge crazy God loves me." Last night, one of the guys and I were given the chance to talk with one girl who has been coming here for quite awhile. It was awesome because we were able to express that joy to her. And it wasn't the whole world is happy with flowers and cinderella style birds and singing but rather the deep-seated not going away assurance that it will be alright inspite of the circumstances around you, peace that you can't understand or explain but is there and shows in your person. The joy that is not dependent on circumstances or personal past but on faith. Just the knowledge that it is all taken care of because He has it under control.
We had one girl who expressed desiring that joy. Wanting what we have.

I want to show it more. I want people to see it when they see me. To see that instead of me.

Tonight is a Barlow Girl's concert - got free tickets! Woot. And I should be getting an amazing book in the mail soon from To Write Love on Her Arms. I am slightly excited about that. Work is going well but pray for more subbing phone calls. I haven't had any in just over a week - not good for me. Trying to work out the paycheck for substituting. They like direct deposit but I am not a fan. I prefer to get my check myself. We shall see.

I had a ton of insightful things that I wanted to say, but I honestly don't remember them now and I have been interrupted at least 30 times so far in writing this so, I am going to just close now and write you another post later. Pictures from the concert to come later!

The air is so dry here. My skin is cracking and bleeding. I feel that way some of the time inside, too. Satan is having a field day telling me a bunch of things. The good part is that I learned this summer through trial and numerous error to recognize the difference between his voice and my Father's.

There are questions in my mind as to whether college ministry is the right place for me to be. I honestly don't think it will be a long term thing - even for much longer than a year or two. I am more and more aware that my gifts have little to do with the college age group and so much to do with the children.

My arms ache to hold a little child and tell them that Jesus loves them. That is where my passion is. And the LDS children are told so many things but the least of which is that Jesus loves them. And even if they do hear it, there are strings attached. "Jesus loves you IF..." My Jesus has no if's or conditions on His love.

Pray for us here. We have tension arising. I can feel it stirring. The current swirls and swoops but never fully comes to light. It almost did earlier today but not really. Just that underlying tension that causes you to crack and bleed and to have little cuts but never makes a big enough deal for you to actually take the time to put the salve on and rest or regroup.

Last night I slept with Cetaphil lotion and antibiotic Neosporin on my hands with socks over them to prevent it from rubbing off. This helped my hands to not be so sore today from the dry and sensitive skin. I feel like as a whole group and as individuals we need to stop and put the same kind of salve on ourselves before we can help anyone else with their sensitive areas of life.

Samhain is almost here. The air feels heavy and the hearts of those who are sensitive to the changes notice the difference. It is weird in a way. I notice a lot of things with spiritual eyes that it seems like the others are missing because they are looking with human eyes but I feel so far behind in some ways combating those things that I see and feel. At the same time, I am not an "ex" in the same way that the ones here are, so I don't fully understand them and vice versa. And the lifelong Christians (or not lifelong but those who were not involved in a cult prior to their Christian life) tend to see things just a bit differently from the rest of us. As an ex-cultist who is now a New Creation, life is different sometimes. And that can be hard to reconcile with the others around you. I am understanding better the pain of the Mormons who have left and become Christians to some extent. Their joy is finally complete but the brainwashing that they have endured takes time to be overcome and retrained into Biblical thinking. That being the case, it makes it hard to be willing conform to Christianity for them. At least, the Christianity that they see.

Pray that they will see Christ and not christianity. We unfortunately can be poor specimen at times of what our Christianity is about. But He is still there and still bigger and stronger and the healer of all wounds. Even the ones that just crack and bleed.

So great news. Last night one person that I have been bugging for quite awhile now to come check out the cafe came in and really enjoyed himself. He was like "wow, I didn't know this place is so cool!" :) That made me happy. I suspect he will be back. He was pretty excited about it. (The fact that he got free food probably helped. ;) ) Anyway, ALSO one of our girls who has been frequenting the place came in and was able to hear the Gospel spelled out in TRUTH at least 4 times in a row. As well as 3 other girls who come in quite often. This occurred during an open question night that we had with Pastor Rodney - the pastor of Ephraim Bible Church. He came in and just fielded questions from students about various things. Most all of the questions were written down or asked by Solid Rock kids but most were pointed enough without being offensive that we were able to point out some clear differences between the faiths and truth. God is SOOOOOOOOoooo cool. :) Anyway, I figured you might like some good news.
Other good news: I got to have a great conversation with my mom this past week on the phone. Sad for parts but good. :) And I talked to Mrs. Walters for a long time - such an encouragement she is. Wow. I wish I lived closer so she could be a mentor... she is in a way. AND I got to talk to my best friend/sister quite a few times. I love her so much. I love my "family." - quotes since the definetion has broadened and blurred over time... in a good way.

A few tips to make the life of your cashier a little better...
So... I have learned as a cashier that my job is to make your visit to my store the best possible and to be as compassionate, expedient, and friendly as possible. I have made it a point to be different from the others by making it a point to pray over my customers and to show Jesus to each of them. But... just to make life easier, it is nice when customers remember that cashiers are people, too; who shouldn't be looked down on but rather respected. So... here is my "vent/tips" list of things that would help make life easier... This is meant to be tips, not serious, and definitely not required... if your cashier is rude, say something to management and to the cashier. You deserve the best.
1. If you are the only customer in line, pull your cart up alongside the belt and start unloading your items for the cashier to check out.
2. Smile and acknowledge your cashier when they greet you. We love to talk with you but that doesn't work if you don't talk to us.
3. Get off of your cell phone. 30 seconds shouldn't matter. Seriously. And if it does then you don't belong in line yet or you should be headed out the door to take care of that emergency, not waiting around at a register. If you can't hang up, tell the caller to hang on for a few minutes. Most people don't mind.
4. Help the cashier by taking the bags as they fill them up. It is the responsibilty of the cashier to scan and bag your items and take care of your money.
5. Tell the cashier before they process your check if you want cash back. You can get up to 20 dollars cash when using a check to pay for your items but it really helps to know ahead of time.
6. Have your id ready if you are purchasing more than 200$ worth of items or something that would potentially require one. ie: spraypaint, alcohol, tobacco, whiteout, sharpie markers, (inhalants), cough medicine, etc. Don't argue about the id thing. It is the cashier's job and if they don't ask, they don't get to work, either.
7. Don't pass out Jack Chick tracts. We don't want them and don't need them. Offer to pray or a smile or if you know us, a hug. That means sooooo much more. :)
8. Do NOT flirt with your cashier unless you are super hot, single, and DO NOT have a wife waiting for you at home. Otherwise, if you are creepy, please, we don't want to date, we just want to work... ;)

More pictures for you to see... These ones are of the cafe, my new haircut, and a few more of my slightly more finished bedroom. Enjoy :)
New Dwelling and Locks