I promised...

After three days of staying awake and thinking and plotting and planning and dreaming and scheming, my brain has turned to mush. Not the non-functioning sort of mush, but the too much activity and not enough REM's equaling to a forth-coming short-circuiting just kinda-dead sorta mush. You know the story.

I have been thinking about transparency and prayer and focusing and being disciplined and guarded and kneeling and surrendering and TRUTH and AGAPE. A lot of thinking... and a lot of questions. And even better, some really exciting answers.

My church in Texas, Crossroads, is doing this thing called Prayer 168... 168 hours of prayer. Focused, driven, devoted, on-your-knees, or flat-on-your-face, crying out to Abba, real deal prayer. There are prayer stations for all kinds of prayer - for the nations, the prodigals, the lost, the families, the church, the city, the state, the government, the ministries and missions, the children, the youth, the everything pretty much. And my favorite - the private prayers where whatever you and God have to sort out just gets hashed out and totally worked through. I want to do this... or something like that. I will write more about this later... still processing.

I love that tired feeling you have when you are contentedly exhausted and you are just ready to sink into the pillows and the down comforter and let the waves of whatever subconscious thoughts carry you away to dreamland. The one that I do not enjoy was the one that I experienced this morning... that worn out spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally and just totally defeated tired. God was really amazing today to change my fatigue into just a pleasant sort of sleepiness. He was close today. I texted a friend this morning and told him that all I wanted was my journal, a huge hug, and a soft blanket. I still want the same things but the defeat has passed.

My God is the VICTOR... think about that... it is already over. There are no judges out trying to decide the case or replays over the match to see who got in the final blow. It was decided before any of it ever began and He wins. And man... that gives strength. So much. He wins.

There are a lot of things going on here right now. I have a lot of friends who are going through S.T.U.F.F. just lots of stuff... and most of it hurts and leaves us broken for them and praying and asking God why things change and get messed up and just in pain for our friends.

BUT... I read verses in Hebrews. Chapter one. And it says that He holds the universe together. HE HOLDS IT ALL... think about it. Not only does He count the hairs on our heads, watch every sparrow, catch every falling tear, change the weather, paint every sunset and sunrise, control all of time and space, create every living thing, AND continue to give it life, but He also stays in control of every situation and WILL always work all of it out for His good.

All of our stuff... somehow, He still makes beauty from ashes, strength from fear, and joy from sorrow. Praise.