I itch to write. I had a poem the other day that the Spirit gave me but I unfortunately, never stopped to write it out and now it is just a figment on the corners of my mind waiting for the right words for expression. My brain is incapable of thinking of words to say what I have been processing. I feel like there are so many things going through and yet not really much at the same time.

I keep catching myself doing little things and thinking about how incredible certain things are - earlier I was raking leaves and I was thinking about the design of the rake and then I used my fingers to rake a few of them into a little pile to load them into the wheelbarrow. That caused me to think, Hmm, bet this is where the idea for the rake came from. Wonder how God came up with His design for fingers. You know, the little things, where He stops you and says "Yo, Look at ME! See me here, princess. You are mine but more importantly, I am yours and I AM. Look. Just shut up, stop and look. How amazing is my creation?! How amazing am I?" It isn't a long pause or even one that really stops your day. Just the ones that cause you to sit for a moment and be like "wow..."

Kind of funny, because at the same time, I feel so close to my complete and total self-absorbed'ness. It is all about me. All the time. Seriously. And it makes me ill. Father, heal me from myself. Satan is so good at placing in the smallest distraction but he really doesn't have to do much because I end up my own worst enemy.

I am so desparate. For T, and my other co-workers, and the girls that I have spoken with. I ache physically even for them to KNOW and to understand. Life is so incredibly empty. Solomon had it so right... meaningless. Vanity. Without Christ - it is all worthless. Please pray. Salvation is so close but still so far because they do not WANT it yet. Pray for desire for Christ.

Desire for Christ. I want to desire Christ more. I do not desire what I should. Help me, Father, to want you.