This is an excerpt of a teaching of Helen Mar Kimball Smith Whitney's husband, who was the founder of the LDS Church - Joseph Smith:

"How gross is the darkness that covers the minds of the people who are fighting against the principles of salvation. No one actuated by the spirit of God would do this or speak against his servants, but would be attended by the Holy Ghost, which would give them faith and reveal to them the power of God unto salvation; but which without faith, is impossible. We read that "the just shall live by faith," and that "faith without works is dead." We can understand the things of God only by the spirit and power of God. The revelations of Joseph Smith can never save others, unless they receive revelation from heaven of their truth, and they must seek for it in order to obtain it. Those who are too careless and slothful to read or to "search and believe in me, not in man," as Jesus said for, "who leans on him leans on a broken reed," will be left as many others have to stumble even at noonday."

This principle of salvation as it was so nicely put was one that required the marriage of Patty and Slyvia Sessions to Joseph Smith - mother and daughter, both of whom were already married to other men - members of the "Church". And the Partridge sisters - also married to other men - polyandry. And Lucy Walker - 17 years old and Helen Mar Kimball Smith Whitney - who was 14 at the time of marriage. And the total was about 34 as far as wives go. His descendents are almost too many to count.

Helen Kimball and Sarah Ann Whitney were both given a time limit - Helen of less than 24 hours to decide to marry him. They were told that the salvation of their entire household was dependent on it. - Read it for yourself in the diaries.

In case you wondered, this man was and is still considered to be a prophet of the one and only True church.

This is what we live with here. Every day. Why, saints, are you not on your knees broken for these people? Let Him shatter your hearts because theirs are and have been... lies have a way of ripping you to shreds and then building fortresses higher than Jericho. But we know how those walls ended up... Father, rescue is coming. Please, rescue your children.

Their hair is swept up off to the side of their face ending in a bun or braid that has an intensity and mass that is overwhelming and definitive to even the most uneducated onlooker or passer-by. Their long sleeves and long skirts match his long sleeves and slacks. It is like going back in time, seeing them on their horses or driving their old pickups filled with children hanging out the back and off the tailgate. They live in close community and shun the outside. They know almost nothing of our world. They are trapped. And they are decieved. And they are abused. And they do it in the name of salvation and godhood. In the name of religion.

Their eyes are vacant. Their hope is nonexistent. I will never forget seeing them all... the ones playing on the playground, all around me. All from one family. All victims and all broken...

GOD! - RESCUE YOUR CHILDREN! Please, Abba... please. Their faces will not leave my mind, their pain - it hasn't left my heart. To not know You...

A friend told me a story the other day that has stuck with me. It actually made me really think and drove me to do some serious praying. He was telling me the bucket story. It goes like this: There was this master and he had two buckets. One was whole and held water to capacity. The other had holes on the bottom and when filled with water, it leaked and dripped until usually, it ended up half full. The master would put both buckets on a yoke, one on each side. He would then walk to the river, fill the buckets and return home and use the water as needed. The bucket with the holes saw the full and whole bucket and felt inferior. He apologized for not being all that he could be to the master. Apologized for not being complete, for being broken. The master said, "Watch today when we get the water. I want to show you something." The master took the buckets to the river, filled them and as they returned the bucket with holes leaked and dripped the entire way home. The master pointed to the side of the road and showed the bucket the flowers along the side of the road that the bucket was on. He explained that the flowers were caused by the water that dripped from the bucket and that he was blessed by the beauty of the flowers each day. Without the holes, without the brokenness, there would be no flowers.

Where are you broken, dear one? Where are your scars? I know you have them. I have seen many of them, and He sees them all. And Heaven knows, I have my own. But so much can come of them. He can make good from all things. Teach me, God.

My prayer lately has been that I can learn to want what He wants. In all things. So often, I still see what I want and bypass what He wants. But that is changing. And it is good. He is good.

We had a girl's luau the other night. After there was a long conversation with a friend. Just about life mostly. About Him and about life. And watched the Passion with another few friends, including C, about a week ago. Colorado City this past week, a tv interview coming up this next week, in between was covered by fundraising for mission trip coming up (that I won't be able to go on, sadly) and work and studying-ish for my certification Praxis exam and then as of this morning, taking the exam. Met some new friends in the past two weeks and have hung out three times now and will see them again on Thursday. Learned a lot just from life lately and God has been amazing... He breaks us and heals us and overwhelms me...

And my brain is now mush.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! :)

HE IS RISEN!!!!!!!!!! He is risen, indeed! He is Lord of Lords, King of Kings, and seated at the righthand of our Father on the Throne... and He is ALIVE!

I was given a new poem the other day. It may not make a lot of sense because it was a little jumbled but it was like snapshots and song clips and just tiny glimpses... Tiny Glimpses of Something Beautiful... He gave me so many glimpses - whether looking at the sky, into a little one's face, someone's tears, hearing a song, or just having one of those moments.. those ones where you KNOW that He is standing face to face with you and showing you His heart and His story and His plan. Those glimpses of what's to come and what He has in store and what He desires and ultimately just His love. I know that sounds all flowery and nice but think of it in a less romantic way for a moment. We are bombarded by all of the nasty and painful stuff every day all day long. And it gets overwhelming. Overwhelming to live here in the midst of so much blind pain and so much deception. And it hurts your heart and your spirit to see all of this and think, "God, where are you?" And then... in the middle of all this brokenness and all of the tears and all of the silent screams of people, He gives tiny glimpses of what He sees as beautiful. And beautiful it is and has been.
I tried to describe that in this new poem. I failed miserably but I am sharing it with you anyway. Go to: http://warriordawn.blogspot.com to see it.

And good news: Lindsay will be out of the hospital today and staying at the Ronald McDonald House for about 3 days until she can get stitches out and then back to Maine. :) Long road of recovery still but He is healing my baby sister and I could not be happier! :) God is sooooooo Good and has so many plans for this little one.

Update on Lindsay Mae...

Many of you already know that my baby sister was going to have yet another major brain surgery today. She needed a decompression of the brain because it was too far back in the skull placing the brain stem in the spinal cord down to the second vertebrate.
Before they attempted the decompression however, they wanted to do a traction test. This requires placing screws in her head and a halo on that will elongate the neck and pull her head up from the original position. The purpose was to check for instability in her neck. They had to put a weight on the back of the neck to check the stability or instability. What they found was that by having her head in traction, it gave her what she needed for her brain to be moved back - taking the brain stem OUT of the spinal cord, thus eliminating her arnold chiari.

So this gave the doctors a new plan. Which was God's plan all along apparently. :) Tomorrow morning at 8am, they are going to go in and do a fusion in her neck. This means that there will be two metal rods placed in her neck on either side of the spinal cord screwed in at her skull and at her 3rd or 4th vertebrate. This will limit her mobility somewhat but not severely and hopefully, she should even still be able to drive! (She just got her learner's permit so that was a bit of a superficial but real concern for her). They will also inject a fluid that will eventually grow into a bone and once it does, she will have one more surgery to remove the rods and then.... FINISHED!

So... GOD IS GOOD! :) Take heart and rejoice. I am so excited!

The group is going to Salt Lake tonight. They are spending the night at a condo and attending a free concert at Calvary Chapel (Kate, Stan, and Goat would remember this church... we went to a concert there our first year out here). And then tomorrow they are doing surveys at General Conference.

I planned to go. Up until about an hour ago. But I am not feeling well - I have that fun cough that makes you cough so hard you feel like you are bringing it up from your toes. But it is all in the chest. Enough details. Anyway... so I planned to go but I am thinking that right now... God wants a date with me - some time spent reading and sipping my green tea. And sleep sounds like an excellent option before I have to work again tomorrow afternoon.

I was listening to David Crowder sing "All that I can say" on the computer and the words were mixing with the overhead speakers which were playing "Bring the Rain" and I got lost for a bit in the idea of both songs and who knows... maybe God will give me something profound or some poetry for ya. I have a few thoughts spinning.

It is raining and snowing and cold and windy and warm and sunny all at once right now. Overcast in one area and bright blue in another. The weather literally looks like Texas when you look at the skies. It is all bipolar and crazyified but man... it is so pretty. And the glaze of ice covering everything and the ice dripping everywhere... I love it. It makes for a good excuse to press my nose to the glass of the window and stay safely indoors and just enjoy without being in it. Right now as I type it is snowing again. Small flakes. That means it will last awhile. Smaller the flakes the longer it snows. USUALLY. The bigger flakes that are heavier with moisture usually don't last long but man... they are pretty. The snow right now is the kind that you don't want to drive in. Pray for the group today.

The cafe is now orange. And we are missing a wall. I will post pictures soon. We are putting up gold paint with some kind of glaze over it on a couple of other walls. Then I will put up photos of the finished product. I am still deciding what I think about that much orange. Some days I like it and others it gets on my nerves. The paint smell though may be the cause of that.

More updates to come perhaps. OH. And email me @ felizalba@gmail.com if you would like to be involved in a ministry opportunity coming up soon. Like by April 14th soon. It is HUGE and we could use all the help we could get. Crossroads folks - I am calling Bud about it so ask him or Kate for details. :)

Some pictures of our arms on To Write Love On Her Arms Day... It was awhile ago but it took me a bit to figure out how to get them off my phone. I am not sure why I didn't take them with my camera but se la vi. Anyway... Enjoy. You can see a few more on here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2015223&id=159101331&l=8e1eab6a10 - for some reason, blogger won't let me post all of them.