Hello, my name is Flic and I am a procrastinator. It has been zero minutes since my last procrastinating activity - blogging/email checking. I am putting off cleaning my apartment and packing my things for Texas. Not because I am not insanely ready to be in Texas, but just because I despise packing. With a hardcore violent passion. It really is not fun. No amount of good music or movies can make this incredibly tedious chore better. BUT.... I WILL BE IN TEXAS IN LESS THAN THREE DAYS!!!!!! Woot!
So, cool story. We were donated 1,500$ by an "anonymous" donor for Christmas to make "Christmas" happen for neighbors and people around town. We chose the Girl's home, a co-worker of mine, and one of Kristin's, our neighbors on the street, and a couple of other families. This has been an amazing experience. SOOO much fun. We blitzed Walmart and bought a TON of stuff for people - things that would make for a great family night or a "pamper yourself" evening or whatever we knew those special ones needed. That was crazy. Today the gifts are all being delievered. I am stoked. I am praying hardcore for my coworker and her family. I want the gifts to be well-recieved and enjoyed but more importantly, I really really really want her to know how insanely loved by God she is. This woman is absolutely beautiful - His Light in her is breathtaking. Probably because she is one of the ONLY Christians in our work enviroment and she is in a leadership position so she shines. She is a dear lady.
A was talking to me today. She is sick and was telling me how much she misses us - the Solid Rock group. She is still in the process of leaving behind the cult in order to follow Christ.
Our brief conversation reminded me of that period that I went through after making my decision, too. It felt like for awhile, I talked to Kate and to other Christians ALL The time for a few weeks, but then all of a sudden, I felt sooo incredibly alone and cut-off. That point was when God allowed my decision to solidify. He gave me the chance to be alone, unable to hear Him, or my friends, or anyone, and to see what I am like without the securities of my involvements in everything, or the security of my friend's faith, or anything else really. I broke. And it was the best thing that could have happened. I do not ever want to feel that again. I don't ever want to be that alone. I know there are times, and I have had more than my share of them, when we are cut off and separated but the complete isolation from God and anyone who really knows Love, it hurts so incredibly much. And that was what made me desire Him.
By the way, I will have a few minutes at church when I get back to speak about Utah and everything so let me know what you want to hear and be praying for the right words to say. Some things are hard to adequately express.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
It was a lazy day. I slept in. Tonight I work, but only four hours. Everyone is gone today for the most part. Very quiet. A bunch of the guys went to their company Christmas party, and a few of the girl's went up north - I think a couple of the guys joined them. We have had three move out completely - only one of which was for good reasons, and another few who have gone home or on adventures for Christmas break. This is the quiet part... I am sitting in the cafe, listening to Evanescence and whoever else Pandora decides to play and waiting for it to be time for work. Just thinking. I kind of like nights like this, as long as they aren't too often.
I don't always feel social or friendly or active or whatever it is that everyone else seems to have an abundance of. Tonight, I am feeling the quiet and the music. I finished some more of my Christmas shopping today thanks to Gabe. He went with me to Manti to get a few things for some close ones in Texas. I helped him pick out a gift for Braegan while we were at WalMart.
This time next week, I will be in Texas. I wish it were now. I would love to be sitting with my best friend and reading and listening to Evanescence and just quiet. It won't be quiet though, this time next week. I hear we are attending another ballroom dance on Saturday night - so all of my Texans better plan to attend. I need to go because there is someone that I need to meet.
Pray for L.
I love Chip. I was talking to him today about something that needed his "expert" advice on how to handle a situation. He is incredibly unafraid of getting into the mud and muck and dealing with the issues that arise. He mentioned that if the situation were to come to us to handle then we would recieve threats, accusations, and see many broken people. But he wasn't afraid of this possibility, infact, he said perhaps that is what God needs to have happen in order to work on this one. The verses from Hebrews about the Word being sharper than a two-edged sword and then in the Gospels about Christ not coming to bring peace but to divide son and father, daughter and mother and families came to mind. Actually, they have been on my mind pretty consistently lately.
We cannot ever be afraid to present the Gospel, to present TRUTH, to present Hope, because it will divide. Truth is made to divide. It is made to break down. Only in brokenness can healing come. The song "Beauty from Pain" - He will bring beauty from my pain. Not only mine, but that of so so many who have turned against what they have been taught and turned instead to Truth. On the flip side, we can't present Truth without love - Ephesians. Love must be central to all things and family cannot be defined by blood.
No one promised it would be easy. Anyone who thinks that walking with Him will fix all of our problems is blind. The problems just begin. The difference is that we have the answer... and it isn't 42.
I don't always feel social or friendly or active or whatever it is that everyone else seems to have an abundance of. Tonight, I am feeling the quiet and the music. I finished some more of my Christmas shopping today thanks to Gabe. He went with me to Manti to get a few things for some close ones in Texas. I helped him pick out a gift for Braegan while we were at WalMart.
This time next week, I will be in Texas. I wish it were now. I would love to be sitting with my best friend and reading and listening to Evanescence and just quiet. It won't be quiet though, this time next week. I hear we are attending another ballroom dance on Saturday night - so all of my Texans better plan to attend. I need to go because there is someone that I need to meet.
Pray for L.
I love Chip. I was talking to him today about something that needed his "expert" advice on how to handle a situation. He is incredibly unafraid of getting into the mud and muck and dealing with the issues that arise. He mentioned that if the situation were to come to us to handle then we would recieve threats, accusations, and see many broken people. But he wasn't afraid of this possibility, infact, he said perhaps that is what God needs to have happen in order to work on this one. The verses from Hebrews about the Word being sharper than a two-edged sword and then in the Gospels about Christ not coming to bring peace but to divide son and father, daughter and mother and families came to mind. Actually, they have been on my mind pretty consistently lately.
We cannot ever be afraid to present the Gospel, to present TRUTH, to present Hope, because it will divide. Truth is made to divide. It is made to break down. Only in brokenness can healing come. The song "Beauty from Pain" - He will bring beauty from my pain. Not only mine, but that of so so many who have turned against what they have been taught and turned instead to Truth. On the flip side, we can't present Truth without love - Ephesians. Love must be central to all things and family cannot be defined by blood.
No one promised it would be easy. Anyone who thinks that walking with Him will fix all of our problems is blind. The problems just begin. The difference is that we have the answer... and it isn't 42.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
"Praise the Lord! For it is good to sing praises to our God; for it is pleasant and praise is becoming. The Lord builds up Jerusalem, He gathers the outcasts of Israel. He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He counts the number of the stars; He gives names to all of them. Great is our Lord and abundant in strength; His understanding is infinite. The Lord supports the afflicted; He brings down the wicked to the ground. Sing to the Lord with thanksgiving; sing praises to our God on the lyre, who covers the heavens with clouds, who provides rain for the earth, who makes grass to grow on the mountains. He gives to the beast its food, and to the young ravens which cry. He does not delight in the strenght of the horse; he does not take pleasure in the legs of a man. The Lord favors in those who fear Him, those who await His lovingkindness. Praise the Lord, O Jerusalem! Praise your God, O Zion! For He has strengthened the bars of your gates; He has blessed your sons within you. He makes peace in your borders; He satisfies you with the finest of the wheat. He sends forth His command to the earth; His word runs very swiftlyHe gives snow like wool; He scatters frost like ashes. He casts forth His ice as fragments; who can stand before His cold? He sends forth His word and melts them; He causes His wind to blow and the waters to flow. He declares His words to Jacob, His statutes and His ordinances to Israel. he has not dealt thus with any nation; and as for His ordinances, they have not known them. Praise the Lord!" Psalm 147
My Father is so much bigger than I am. He is perfect. My Father is amazing. I know that is so simply stated, but it is truth and the simple truths often speak the loudest.
My Father is so much bigger than I am. He is perfect. My Father is amazing. I know that is so simply stated, but it is truth and the simple truths often speak the loudest.
Friday, December 12, 2008
I have recently rediscovered Pandora - an online free radio music station that plays whatever band or genre you choose and allows you to adjust the selection to your liking; for the most part, anyway. I miss Kate's computer and ipod with an incredibly wide selection of music. She has some of the best stuff. I used to use her stuff all the time. I love to be surrounded by music, but here, the same things play over and over. And I only have a small selection of my Cd's, therefore, making my appetite for some variety slightly on the larger side. I miss having more variety and I really really miss having Christian radio that plays music and NOT crappy talk shows. But... I have once again decided to not dislike David Crowder. For awhile there, I thought I heard his voice more than anyone elses, but now that we have had a bit of a break, we are back together as friends again. Good to have him back.
Pray for my family and so many others. Lay-offs have started all over the country, as I am sure you know or may have already experienced. My dad got a "two-week lay off for a company shut down." But... they are not promising much and we are not entirely sure. Just pray. And while you are at it, please please pray for my sister, Lindsay. She is leaving tomorrow to head back to New York for more testing and stuff for her follow-up from the brain surgery and then all of the complications that she has had since. The poor kid... she has had so much more than her share. She really just wants to finish school up so she can graduate and go to college. I don't blame the kid one bit.
One of my friends when asked how he was doing, replied by saying that God was clothing him. - meaning that God is taking care of him and preparing him, both simultaneously. I completely understand that response, although at this current moment tonight after work and a trying spiritual day, I would say "drained" would be my response. But, I have experienced being "clothed" by God and can identify with the wonderous feeling of that peace.
He gave me incredible joy this morning. Ironically, as my heart was literally breaking as I watched A's world fall apart. Literally. The joy was because I KNOW with a 100 percent assurance that He is risen, He is King of Kings, Lord of Lords, my Alpha, Omega, and My Savior. There is no question in my mind about where I will be later on or if I am loved or if it will all be okay. I can go through anything now because He isn't going to let me go. I CANNOT wait for A and M and T to know that joy. The steadfastness of peace that comes when the tornado swirls around you and the lightening flashes and the debris flies around and the world turns completely black. I have had my world black. And I still could not escape the Light. How is that for joy?
Drained... so incredibly drained. But man... it is so sweet.
Pray for my family and so many others. Lay-offs have started all over the country, as I am sure you know or may have already experienced. My dad got a "two-week lay off for a company shut down." But... they are not promising much and we are not entirely sure. Just pray. And while you are at it, please please pray for my sister, Lindsay. She is leaving tomorrow to head back to New York for more testing and stuff for her follow-up from the brain surgery and then all of the complications that she has had since. The poor kid... she has had so much more than her share. She really just wants to finish school up so she can graduate and go to college. I don't blame the kid one bit.
One of my friends when asked how he was doing, replied by saying that God was clothing him. - meaning that God is taking care of him and preparing him, both simultaneously. I completely understand that response, although at this current moment tonight after work and a trying spiritual day, I would say "drained" would be my response. But, I have experienced being "clothed" by God and can identify with the wonderous feeling of that peace.
He gave me incredible joy this morning. Ironically, as my heart was literally breaking as I watched A's world fall apart. Literally. The joy was because I KNOW with a 100 percent assurance that He is risen, He is King of Kings, Lord of Lords, my Alpha, Omega, and My Savior. There is no question in my mind about where I will be later on or if I am loved or if it will all be okay. I can go through anything now because He isn't going to let me go. I CANNOT wait for A and M and T to know that joy. The steadfastness of peace that comes when the tornado swirls around you and the lightening flashes and the debris flies around and the world turns completely black. I have had my world black. And I still could not escape the Light. How is that for joy?
Drained... so incredibly drained. But man... it is so sweet.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
First off, I must shout out to Stormy - who turns 21 today! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABE! :)
Secondly, WE HAVE SNOW! Not much. Hardly any, really. But enough that all of my Texans would be excited. Actually, as of now, it looks a lot like a Texas snowfall but I have been promised a lot more to come. This is just the beginning of the first "real" winter in over 5 years for both Gareth and myself. Very very very excited. I love snow. I am excited to use the scoopers to shovel for people. :D That was always my favorite. I honestly enjoyed shoveling. Usually, I would sing praise songs and shovel and before I realized it, I would have completed not only my own driveway and sidewalk but our neighbors as well. Backbreaking if you don't do it correctly - whole lifting thing, but sooooo much fun. :)
Keep praying for A and M and their family. They are going through a lot - as is always the case when you leave a cult behind.
16 days until I am in Texas. WOOT. I am so excited! Better have your bear hugs ready.
OoOOOH! I have some quite exciting news. Well, exciting for me. See, my apartment has a funky heater. It is working now, but as of a week ago, we were waking up to 54 or 56 degrees indoors. Colder inside at night than outside at times. We shoulda gone camping. Anyway, Kate found out about this slight issue and decided to be incredibly kind and now I have a BEAUTIFUL blue/khaki reversible down comforter on my bed. I have always wanted one. So Merry Christmas to me! Do I have the coolest best friend or what? Seriously, the kid also got me a coat to keep me warm. I guess she was afraid Texas thinned my blood out and doesn't want me to freeze. I will post pictures later.
As much as I do not like the rush when it is busy at Walmart, pray for more business if you can. If we do not get more shoppers and sales, then we have to start cutting back and having someone get laid off at the holidays would just suck. Right now they are cutting hours by a half or hour increments but the next step would be to fire a few employees. I am fairly safe because I am a front-end worker and am trained for 2 different positions and being trained for a 3rd, but there are a lot of employees who have families who cannot afford to lose their job. Especially since the store is the biggest employer in town.
After a long fast from David Crowder (he gets a little overplayed on our stereo here), I am currently enjoying his music again. :) Makes me smile. But soon we will have to swap him and his cool shoes out for some Christmas music. I have a tree to decorate in the front entry-room. So much fun!
Yay for Tuesdays and days off from work and days to work in the cafe and working heaters and an incredibly amazing awesome and mighty Gracious God!
Secondly, WE HAVE SNOW! Not much. Hardly any, really. But enough that all of my Texans would be excited. Actually, as of now, it looks a lot like a Texas snowfall but I have been promised a lot more to come. This is just the beginning of the first "real" winter in over 5 years for both Gareth and myself. Very very very excited. I love snow. I am excited to use the scoopers to shovel for people. :D That was always my favorite. I honestly enjoyed shoveling. Usually, I would sing praise songs and shovel and before I realized it, I would have completed not only my own driveway and sidewalk but our neighbors as well. Backbreaking if you don't do it correctly - whole lifting thing, but sooooo much fun. :)
Keep praying for A and M and their family. They are going through a lot - as is always the case when you leave a cult behind.
16 days until I am in Texas. WOOT. I am so excited! Better have your bear hugs ready.
OoOOOH! I have some quite exciting news. Well, exciting for me. See, my apartment has a funky heater. It is working now, but as of a week ago, we were waking up to 54 or 56 degrees indoors. Colder inside at night than outside at times. We shoulda gone camping. Anyway, Kate found out about this slight issue and decided to be incredibly kind and now I have a BEAUTIFUL blue/khaki reversible down comforter on my bed. I have always wanted one. So Merry Christmas to me! Do I have the coolest best friend or what? Seriously, the kid also got me a coat to keep me warm. I guess she was afraid Texas thinned my blood out and doesn't want me to freeze. I will post pictures later.
As much as I do not like the rush when it is busy at Walmart, pray for more business if you can. If we do not get more shoppers and sales, then we have to start cutting back and having someone get laid off at the holidays would just suck. Right now they are cutting hours by a half or hour increments but the next step would be to fire a few employees. I am fairly safe because I am a front-end worker and am trained for 2 different positions and being trained for a 3rd, but there are a lot of employees who have families who cannot afford to lose their job. Especially since the store is the biggest employer in town.
After a long fast from David Crowder (he gets a little overplayed on our stereo here), I am currently enjoying his music again. :) Makes me smile. But soon we will have to swap him and his cool shoes out for some Christmas music. I have a tree to decorate in the front entry-room. So much fun!
Yay for Tuesdays and days off from work and days to work in the cafe and working heaters and an incredibly amazing awesome and mighty Gracious God!
Sunday, December 7, 2008
There are 19 days until I am back in good ole' Tejas. :) I am stoked. You have no idea. I was ordered to return to Utah after my trip but right now, I am just concentrating on the Texas part. I cannot WAIT to see you guys. Seriously.
Pray for my little sister still. Lindsay has swelling on both optic nerves and on the discs in the back of her eye causing vision problems and migraines - which may or may not be related to the arnold chiari. And she is being tested for another possible disease - ehler's danlos syndrome. That is the way that she spelled it, so if I am incorrect, let me know. If they decide to test her for that, she will need to go to Maryland for the testing. She is headed to New York this Friday for a follow-up appointment with the doctors from her surgery and to get some answers about the vision issues, possibly scheduling the Maryland trip. They (my parents, Lindsay, and my sister Mandy and my gram) are going to spend a few extra days in NY to see the Christmas decorations and everything. They are super excited about that part of the trip. I think that is the extent of their Christmas this year, but it will be a nice trip.
Please pray for my family and for myself. This is my first Christmas away from home. And I am not dealing well with it. I am focusing on Texas and kind of ignoring Christmas for that very reason. I honestly LOVE Christmas at my parents, even though things usually don't go well with my family all the time. You know the story. It is rough because I am different now. Very different. But the amount of love for them has only increased since I became a Christian. And no matter how much I love the Thompsons, this is not family. Not in the same sense.
Which explains why I am so excited about Texas, too. :)
As far as ministry goes, keep praying for A and M and their family. I will explain more later in person. Pray as always for T - still on my heart all the time. And Jo from work - her son is still dealing with a ton of crap. Poor kid is physically sicker than anyone I know - and I know a lot of sick kids... *coughkatecough*
Work is alright right now. Nothing special but more opportunities to talk. I like that. :)
College house is kinda down right now. There is some internal stuff going on and they are dealing with it and most people are feeling the tension. And we kinda had a bust for a float at the holiday parade. It was an amazing concept for the float but it didn't work well. So, our message - His Message- kinda got diminished a bit. It was really disappointing for all of us but especially Chip. He called the whole thing "retarded." He is doing much better today, though. I think we need the Christmas break to kinda re-coup and get our bearings back.
Anyway, it is dead quiet in here, everyone is in bed or playing halo upstairs in the guys dorm or whatever. So... I am going to go to bed or find a movie or a book or something fun. Sleep well, Texas. I will see you soon.
Pray for my little sister still. Lindsay has swelling on both optic nerves and on the discs in the back of her eye causing vision problems and migraines - which may or may not be related to the arnold chiari. And she is being tested for another possible disease - ehler's danlos syndrome. That is the way that she spelled it, so if I am incorrect, let me know. If they decide to test her for that, she will need to go to Maryland for the testing. She is headed to New York this Friday for a follow-up appointment with the doctors from her surgery and to get some answers about the vision issues, possibly scheduling the Maryland trip. They (my parents, Lindsay, and my sister Mandy and my gram) are going to spend a few extra days in NY to see the Christmas decorations and everything. They are super excited about that part of the trip. I think that is the extent of their Christmas this year, but it will be a nice trip.
Please pray for my family and for myself. This is my first Christmas away from home. And I am not dealing well with it. I am focusing on Texas and kind of ignoring Christmas for that very reason. I honestly LOVE Christmas at my parents, even though things usually don't go well with my family all the time. You know the story. It is rough because I am different now. Very different. But the amount of love for them has only increased since I became a Christian. And no matter how much I love the Thompsons, this is not family. Not in the same sense.
Which explains why I am so excited about Texas, too. :)
As far as ministry goes, keep praying for A and M and their family. I will explain more later in person. Pray as always for T - still on my heart all the time. And Jo from work - her son is still dealing with a ton of crap. Poor kid is physically sicker than anyone I know - and I know a lot of sick kids... *coughkatecough*
Work is alright right now. Nothing special but more opportunities to talk. I like that. :)
College house is kinda down right now. There is some internal stuff going on and they are dealing with it and most people are feeling the tension. And we kinda had a bust for a float at the holiday parade. It was an amazing concept for the float but it didn't work well. So, our message - His Message- kinda got diminished a bit. It was really disappointing for all of us but especially Chip. He called the whole thing "retarded." He is doing much better today, though. I think we need the Christmas break to kinda re-coup and get our bearings back.
Anyway, it is dead quiet in here, everyone is in bed or playing halo upstairs in the guys dorm or whatever. So... I am going to go to bed or find a movie or a book or something fun. Sleep well, Texas. I will see you soon.
